Mealtime routines

Having a good mealtime routine and structure is important for children and can help children with feeding difficulties to be more confident with food. This information sheet details what a positive mealtime can look like.

Remember that a mealtime should be for eating and not disciplining, arguing or doing other activities.

Before the meal

• Give your child warning that the meal will be ready in ten minutes and again in five minutes – you can use a visual timer to show them how long it will be.
• Make sure that the table is ready and the food is served up before you tell them it is ready.
• Encourage your child to go the toilet and wash their hands immediately before they come to the table.

Sitting at the table

• Where possible have a table you can all sit around.
• Keep the table clear of any distractions e.g. toys, papers, tablets.
• Make sure that the chair the child is sitting in is stable and supportive so that they are comfortable.
• The child’s chair should allow for their chest to be in line with the table – you may need to use a booster seat.
• Turn off any tablets/televisions and keep phones off the table for the duration of the meal.

Timing of meals

• Aim for family meals where possible.
• When it is not possible to all sit together then try and make sure your child does not eat alone. Sit with them with a drink and snack.
• Allow sufficient time for meals so that they are not hurried and the child is not too tired.
• Choose a time each week to have a more relaxed mealtime together.
• A meal should last a maximum of 20 minutes for the main course and 10 minutes for the pudding. Adults might have to slow their eating down.

Talking at the table

• Mealtimes can be a convenient time to talk about what is going on with different members of the family.
• Try not to focus too much on talking about eating.
• Offer praise when your child demonstrates good behaviour.
• If your child is getting distracted bring their focus back to the food but then talk about other things.
• When you are talking about the food think about describing it in different ways for example the colour, the texture, the shape, who else likes the food.
• Think carefully about your behaviour as an adult as children watch your reactions to new foods, mess etc.

Spitting out or throwing food

• If a child is throwing food then this is an antisocial mealtime behaviour and you should calmly remind your child that we do not throw food at mealtimes.
• If the throwing continues then take the food away but keep the child at the meal table unless it is nearing the end of the mealtime as this may also indicate they have had enough or would like the meal to end.
• A child may want to spit out a food if it is new, its temperature is too hot/cold or there is something unexpected about a known food, such as a lump. If this happens then offer them a napkin or a bowl to empty their mouth into. Continue the mealtime without commenting on the behaviour.

Tableware

• Keep children’s plates small so that they are not overwhelmed.
• Make sure that the child can clearly see what is on their plate.
• Avoid foods that are too hot to eat – if necessary, serve up your child’s portion with time for it to cool slightly before they eat.
• Complex cutlery can be distracting. Choose age and size appropriate cutlery e.g. a teaspoon rather than a dessert spoon for smaller children or child sized knives and forks.
• If there is more than one child then try and think about how to avoid any disagreements before the meal starts e.g. same plates, cutlery, where they sit etc.

Portion sizes

• Keep portion sizes small – a child can always ask for more.
• Don’t insist that a child finishes their portions but do encourage them to try all the different foods on their plate.

Other things to think about

• If your child has a drink with their meal, keep this small so that they don’t fill up on fluid.
• Involve your child in the mealtime by asking them to set the table, clear up afterwards, or to serve family members.
• Some families choose to have a large dish in the middle of the table and encourage people to help themselves.
• Think about how you would like mealtimes to look in the future – would you like your child to ask to get down when they have finished?
• Think about the messages you are giving your child – is it ok for you to get up and down from the table if they are not allowed to do the same?

Remember some meals will be better than others and not every meal needs to be perfect but you are teaching your child about how to behave at future mealtimes and giving them a positive mealtime experience.

Contact

If you require any further information or wish to comment on this leaflet please contact:

Your dietitian: …………………………………………………………….. Tel: 01223 216655

Department of Nutrition and Dietetics Box 119

Cambridge University NHS Foundation Trust Hills Road

Cambridge CB2 0QQ