My role at CUH is in paediatric haematology and oncology, and the office I work in is next door to C2, an inpatient ward for children who have cancer. Often colleagues who have just had difficult conversations come in for a cup of tea and a biscuit, a chat or a cry. The office doesn’t have any windows so it feels very much like a bubble. It’s a safe space, our office bubble, a space that allows colleagues to come in for a breather, to take a moment before going back to the ward. The location, right next to C2, is key to this, as are the people I work alongside in the office.
I think the team you work with can really make a job. My colleagues are my sounding board and they give me reassurance; I talk to them about everything. Some people can separate their personal and professional lives but I wouldn’t be able to be that person. I believe in being my whole self at work. I landed in my role in oncology by accident but I had a tumour when I was a teenager and the compassion I bring to this job is based on that experience.
I think that is often the crux of working in the NHS, that we all have that seed of care and compassion.
I lead the CUH bisexual and pansexual peer group. We meet on the first Thursday of the month at 10am in the CUH staff area of the concourse. I wanted to be specific about meeting in-person as Teams can feel very impersonal. People can talk to me about whatever they want to and I can signpost to further support if needed. It can take a leap sometimes, to sit at a table with a bi flag, and some people might not be ready for that in the workplace. We meet in a public space, and though I have considered a more private area this is the most accessible place to get to in our large, sprawling hospital.
In my first My CUH Story, I wrote about being bisexual and being in a very happy long-term (though sadly long-distance) relationship with a straight man. I am now in a polyamorous relationship with the same man and a woman. Polyamory is not an easy concept and I hesitate to talk about it widely. The same erasure that can happen from being bisexual (‘you’re not bisexual, you’re just confused’) applies to polyamory (‘you’re not polyamorous, you’re just cheating on your boyfriend’). It is important to me to protect my identity.
If you are considering joining one of our bisexual / pansexual peer group sessions, I hope you do take the leap. I will be there with a listening ear, much like an extension of the office I work in, replicating that bubble.
You are a whole person who comes to work, with a history and emotions, just like I am, and the peer group is a safe space for you too.